Friends and Family.... and Fridays.

 Bread, wine, cheese, friends, laughter.... It was a Friday night ritual that developed gradually and ended suddenly as we moved to Maine.  But almost three years later, on a Friday, my dear old baking friend rekindled the memories of that ritual.  In my in-box I found.....

"COMMUNION: It rarely fails that Friday rolls around and I am compelled to bake a couple of loaves of bread. In a few minutes I will head north, to Shelburne, for some of our favorite cheese and a bottle of Mrs. Fox's latest beverage of choice, a Reisling called "Relax." I'll turn south, pick up the young folk and continue on to piano group lessons, after which we'll come home for communion. The tradition begun when you and Cami were here to share continues. Though it's lonely without you. It's nice to believe that one is irreplacable, but you truly are! There's nobody left who we would want to commune with on a Friday evening. Come summer it's not so bad, since PdV is open. Still, a winter Friday is here and you aren't. I hope you're having fun, this Friday."

Wet-eyed, I wrote back....

"Dear Jeffrey...  Thank you. Every now and then in life we catch a signal from far away.... reminds me of when I was a kid listening to my first AM radio under the covers of my bed way too late at night.... the WNYC oldies show "The Milkman's Matinee" and every now and then Kansas City... I would imagine myself some young, hip kid in Manhattan.... a Holden Caulfield of sorts (RIP J.D.) .... Tonight I got home, did the floors and started laundry before Cami got home.... I am about to go meet her at the grocery store but first stopped to check facebook.... and here you are, WNYC at night all over again.... A signal from a wonderful time... that we will visit again I might add!! Cheers to you and to the family and to bread and wine and to friends, near and far. You add all that together and indeed, you get communion.

We miss you, especially on Friday nights.

Blessings all the way around...!"

Bread.  The staff of life.  And when we share it... the proverbial breaking of bread... we become closer.  We become family.

Blessings to you all.

The healing power of... Cupcakes?

We are leaving early tomorrow for a little road trip. Cam is upstairs packing.  Mucho is once again sacked out in front of the fireplace with his Kong.... his second favorite toy.  He lobotomized Mr. Octopus last week and I haven't had time to stich the poor bastard up.

We are visiting Mom.  Not really for any reason other than it has been too long, she hasn't seen Julie & Julia yet, and I owe her cupcakes.  What the hell.  So tomorrow we will load up the car, give Mucho the whole back seat (and a good potion of the front), and drive to Wells River, VT.  Honestly I am not sure when the last time we visited Mom at her home.  I'm sure she knows.  Moms keep pretty good track of that kind of thing.  Of course there are loads of things we could be doing other than running to Vermont.  We have lots of money to raise for the youth group's upcoming trip to New Orleans.  We have our wedding to plan.  I have homework to read and Cam has homework to grade.  But there are times when we need to walk (or drive in this case) away from it all and just take, well, a pause.  It will be there when we get back.  We all have things and times in our lives where doing what seems like nothing is actually the most important thing to do.

But spending time with your mom is not nothing.  It is damn important stuff.  To watch movies, and talk, drink some wine, swap stories, and watch Cami share how much she loves teaching, loves her students, and how much they love her... it's like capturing our crazy & wonderful life in a picnic basket and delivering it in person to my unsuspecting mother.  Look out Mom.  (I mentioned that we're bringing Mucho too, right??)

Now if you will excuse me, I need to bake some cupcakes.

Perspective

I started a new class Tuesday.  Developmental Theories of Counseling.  Seems to be a great course that will delve into the stages we all eventually pass through.  And I've already learned a great lesson.... Nate, the instructor made it all clear for me. "There is no one way to counsel," he said.  "But you do have a responsibility to have an opinion."  By learning about theories, and issues, and substance, and about being human, and by examining our own lives and everything else... we will form our own personal opinions... and those opinions will enable us to counsel.  In addition to the usual massively dry textbook, we are also assigned to read The Glass Castle, The Secret Life of Bees, and Tuesdays With Morrie.  I own copies of all the titles, but have never managed to read them.  After class Tuesday, I jumped right into Tuesdays... The story of a writer reconnecting with his old college professor as he navigates the last stages of ALS, or Lou Gehrig's disease.  It's a book about death, and life, and the integral beauty each possess.

Today I received an e-mail from mom.  After over a year in remission, her cancer is back.  They will be starting a new treatment plan soon... chemo and a new, somewhat "experimental" injection that has had some positive results.  Okay then.

Now by connecting Tuesday's With Morrie and my mother's cancer, I am by no means assuming the worse.  I am simply acknowledging that life is full of lessons... and it is intended to be lived.  Morrie never missed an opportunity to dance, and from here on, neither will I.  And Mom, I guess this is fair warning.... you'd better dust off your dancing shoes.

The Mothership

(Originally posted on my other, now defunct blog, December 1, 2009 - SGK)

There are many ways we can take this title being a few days after Thanksgiving and my mother (and brother + family) have been gone for only a few days. But I am actually writing about the Kitchenaid Professional 600 that as of 5:23 pm EST has resided on our kitchen counter. It is a big friggin’ mixer and I love it. It is a gift of love…. love as in I love two things… my fiance, Cami, and cooking (three if you include our dog, Mucho…. four if you include the rest of my family… five if… never mind) … back to my point, I love her, she loves me, birthday is coming up along with Christmas and said Kitchenaid is now on said counter. It stands 16 and a half inches tall which gives it about an inch of extra clearance under our cabinets. I have done nothing with it tonight other than unpack it, lovingly wash the bowl and attachments, and post a picture of it on Facebook… Quite possibly the dorkiest moment of my life. So there you have it… a rare moment of decadence in our typically sedate and non-materialistic lifestyle. That said, please stay tuned for a flat screen television that I sense on the horizon… and lots of cooking adventures.

Back to Thanksgiving. Holidays bring the family together and that can be an adventure. This year my brother and his wife and kids came up to Maine with my Vermont residing mother in tow. It’s easy to say that we don’t get together nearly enough, but given our paths and schedules, it’s amazing that we see each other as often as we do. This Thanksgiving was a merging of two families as we literally went over the river and through the woods to my future in-laws… lots of people together having made it through a variety of challenges over the last year or two. Health struggles, lost loved ones, life decisions, and that litany of perennial questions…. What do you feed a vegetarian on Thanksgiving…? Red or white wine…? Do I drink one, two, or three bottles…? I know, I know politically explosive material here…. But the safe answer to at least question number one is polenta dome. I may post the recipe later (with the solid advice to drop the fennel and add more salt and cheese)… so keep your fingers crossed. But once again, back to Thanksgiving… Families, friends, and the other wonderful people we love for whatever reason and in whatever capacity can drive us crazy… if we let them. But love them we do, and love them we will continue to do. One of my favorite quotes from Storypeople is “There are things you do because they feel right & they may make no sense & they may make no money & it may be the real reason we are here: to love each other & to eat each other’s cooking & say it was good.” To me that says Thanksgiving. To me that says family.

Forgive the shmaltz, but the holidays are coming. Until then, let’s give the mothership on my counter a test run. And I will keep trying to figure out what the hell this blog is all about.

Stay tuned….

Mickey-D's and the future of our youth......

(Originally posted on my other, now defunct blog... December 16, 2009 - SGK)

I am waiting in another McDonald’s for a student to apply. The last time was well over a year ago in Bucksport and the kid never showed. Was pretty frustrated, for several reasons. First, I hate McDonald’s. Granted it started off as an American success story…. it has gone on to literally eat away at any semblance of true culture…. and we’re fat now. Today I am sitting in Old Town, Maine and once again waiting for a student….25 minutes late at this point. Called Dad, doesn’t know where the kid is. Thinks he might be on his way. Okay then… Now the last several years have brought a new face to the Golden Arches…. they don’t look like the overly bright and plastic stores of yore. Instead of the blinding primary color schemes, everything is a dark mahogany and faux leather that practically screams “Screw You Starbucks…!!” There’s a very interesting couple two tables to my right who keep switching their attention to the Bangor Daily News and to Regis and Kelly coming from the wall mounted flat screen. The man snorts loudly at the panties Kelly is holding up, “Twenty eight bucks for a piece of LACE!??! Ridiculous! Wish she’d shut up and put ‘em on…” Nice, Luther. I never heard this in a Starbucks.

31 minutes late.

And so we wait…. waiting to help a young man try to build “employability skills” and maybe even a future. That’s how we bill it anyway. To the kids it may just be a safe place to sleep and three square meals a day. Maybe that’s enough for them right now. There is a shortsightedness among a disturbingly large amount of our students. They live for today and don’t really think of or prepare for the future. Much like the customers of McDonald’s who don’t really think about what this “meal” today will do to their health down the road if they keep coming back. What it has done to the culture of community all over this country. All over the world. Just like Wal-Mart and the other convenient box stores that have helped roll up Main Street sidewalk after Main Street sidewalk of Smalltown, USA.

41 minutes...

Maybe we are all a little late… time to stop selling ourselves and our community short. Am I happy about waiting for this kid…? No. But I’m not giving up on him. What good would that do? As far as McDonald’s goes…. I’m 0 for 2 here. I guess I should give up on McDonald’s.

Off to my next adventure….

Simple generosity... and a bucket of beans.

The youth group is at it again.  We have been working since this past fall trying to raise just over $10,000.  This money will  be spent taking a group of 17 high school students to New Orleans.  We will be volunteering with the St. Bernard Project, an incredible non-profit that has been going strong since early 2006.  They rebuild houses, homes really, that were destroyed by Hurricane Katrina.  Now we've all heard of that.  But the St. Bernard Parish has been able to do what FEMA and the Federal Government has not.  In addition to rebuilding homes with nothing more than volunteer help and donations, they give people hope.  Hope, when times are tough, is a powerful tool.  Actually it always is a powerful tool.

Two years ago, I went down to NOLA with my fiance and her family.  Turns out one of her old classmates works for St. Bernard Project.  Well there we were, all volunteering, mudding sheet-rock and sanding it down.  Messy, sweaty, just plain nasty work that was absolutely delicious for the soul.  And we were bitten by the bug.  We knew we were going back.

Last year we formed the youth group and took eleven kids down.  It clearly changed all of our lives.  And as these things tend to do.... the group grew.  This year we had to limit the group to 17 students (plus chaperones... don't freak out)... funding.  A reasonable concern during a recession.  But the kids are stepping up... and so are their parents... and so is this incredible community.  We are a community service focused youth group, but attached to the Church of Universal Fellowship in Orono, ME.  These church members step up every chance they get... which is fairly often these days.  They have been subjected to numerous bake sales, a pizza sale, soon a Mardi Gras Extravaganza (I'm not exactly sure what that entails either), car washes, and flat-out appeals for donations.  And they never disappoint.

Today was bake sale #2 for this year.  The kids showed up with a wonderful variety of baked goods.... many out of the normal range of "bake sale" goods.  We had chicken lasagna (three of them.... each went for $17-20),  quiches (2 of them), pizzas (4), and perhaps my personal favorite.... five quart containers of "Calico Beans."  Yes.  I bought one of them.  Best damn ten bucks I've spent in the last three months.  The kids baked and sold. The parents baked and bought.  The church members milled about like it was a festival.... and in many ways, it was indeed a celebration.  These kids are perhaps renewing faith in the spirit of generosity, of giving, and perhaps of compassion.  And it is contagious.  People want to see them succeed in their collective mission.  They give to the kids in ways the kids may never see.  I was sitting in the back pew of church today before the service, catching up with an old friend, when I felt friendly pat on my shoulder and a piece of paper slid into my hand.  It was a check... and it came from a man who has already donated to us.... and has bought pizzas and cookies, and had his car washed.  With it was a note.  In a spidery scrawl, "Here's another donation.  Keep up the good work."  After the service, as we scooted out to man the bake sale, another friend passed me and slipped something into my coat pocket.  "Don't lose you coat now, Sam," he said.  It was another very generous check.

During the sale, there was a moment where I stepped back and just watched.  I watched the interactions and conversations.  It is hard to explain what exactly was happening.  But there was much more going on than the sale of cookies and cupcakes... and there is much more going on here than the rebuilding of houses in New Orleans.  There is a rekindling of the human spirit.  Now I know that sounds like complete bullshit, but it is true.  And I am finally realizing that this is why I am involved with this youth group. 

It's cold outside tonight.  They're saying single digits.  We have the fire going and the dog is sprawled in front of it in customary fashion.   And for dinner I had a salad and a small bowl of "Calico Beans" all heated up... delicious... and they, along with the memory of the day, warmed me through to my soul.